December 7th 1944

I go to a dance at the local Drill Hall which is pretty dead, though I dance with some dame Jean Wallace and her sister Renee. They then take me home for some food and cross examine me on India. They also turn out to be communists, and give me hell for half an hour.

Monday I come up to Hawarden and take the test on the Tuesday. Two hours at 37,000’ and all I get is a slight pain in my right knee. Not enough to get out of it though. I go to dinner with the Pauls and am told I have lost weight – a good thing. Yesterday I walk to Chester in the morning and meet Raynor and his girlfriend in Barlow’s. I go in last night and drink beer from 7-10pm with a Canadian A.S.C. private – but no luck.

On looking back, I see my last home base was September 19th, damn near three months ago. As for Barbara, and her tricks, I have ‘had’ that, as it’s no use. Everyone else seems to manage OK except me. I was a fool to drop Joan and pursue Barbara, but I had to follow my star I suppose – thinking that I was in love and all. Damn cold up here, but I still cannot get what I want.



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